Custom rap roasts for pets
Bad habits
make the
best bars.
Your dog stole the socks. Now they get the mic. Turn their funniest habits into an original rap roast, performed just for them.
For birthdays, gotcha days & just because.
Good dogs.
Roast harder.
01 / From mischief to music
You bring the dirt.
We bring the verse.
Their quirks become the punchlines. Their photo becomes the face of the track. All love, with a little lyrical payback.
- 01
Send the evidence
One pet photo, their name and three funny habits. Sock theft? Sofa takeover? A very personal feud with the vacuum? Give us the details.
- 02
Meet their rapper persona
We write and perform an original rap around your dog’s personality. The funniest habit gets the opening line.
- 03
Let the track do the talking
Get a vertical video with captions and pet artwork. Send it as a gift or drop it in the group chat.
02 / Their debut starts here
Little roast.
Big replay value.
Choose an available offer below. The name, price and booking details come straight from our current catalog.
Original or commercially licensed music and visuals. Public sharing only with permission.
Before the beat drops
A few good questions.
What should I send?
A photo of your dog, their name and three funny habits. We’ll contact you by email after checkout to arrange the details.
Is this a good gift?
Absolutely. Birthdays, adoption anniversaries or a little surprise for someone who treats their dog like a celebrity.
Will you post my dog publicly?
Only with permission. Your gift doesn’t automatically become a public sample.